Words ain't enough..

Here I am.. sitting in front of a very familiar screen, listening to my fav music and blog.. Me, just returned from work, pretty tired actually. My colleague met with an incident this morning so I need to cover his work.. imagine.. :X Sigh...

Why am I blogging? Cause I don't have anyone to talk to right now.. my dear should be in the work place now.. I miss him so much.. I don't know how he's feeling right now after yesterday. where I stupidly made a mistake which showed that Im not meticulous and concerned enough.. I really feel bad. well, like wht he said, wht done is done...:

The 'weird' feeling is coming back.. PMS? probably... I mean, definately.. ARRRghhhhh...So, how's work today?.. *giggle.. Well, kinda ok cuz one of my patient ( Apek) has been discharged and before he left, he said, Thank U sooooo much nurse, you care so much about me before and after my operation.. haha.. His daughter was kind too... Actually, I don't take praises heavily, but, Im really happy tht they can feel it... Feel.. that we really care about them.. :)

One thing I was wondering, I know my life is all about caring for people and I admit that I suck at caring of myself. . And I'm wondering whether he will let me take care of him cuz... I tend to forget tht the real me is existing.. As for me, I promised to take care of him forever and ever till my last breath.. and i wana do anything I can, with all my heart just for him because I cant imagine living my life without my dear.. It would be the worst thing ever in my life.. Honestly, different shifts really kills me... test my patience. haha.. MIss him sooo badly..

Hm.... words really aint enough to prove my love for him.. and I want my loyalty, faithfulness and honesty proves it..

Oh ya, today during one of the consultant's round, he said something very meaningful, which made me ponder for a while.. When he was writing treatments for Mr X, he said this, " He always looked so quiet, I like quiet patient but no till this extent..now I know how my wife and my friends felt when I kept quiet at times..and they kept asking me questions.." Hm... A lesson to learn for me. Actually, to summarize the whole thing, just a word, empathize. I know, I know exactly what it is. Put yourself in the shoe of others..( indirectlyla..) To feel for them.. Whee.. This is what Ive been doing but I want to improve it... I wanted to be better.. be his lovely one..

Ok,my legs killing are me now, really need to elevate them on pillows.. Varicose veins, there's no way you can come and grow on my legs.. haha! Go away evil varicose veins.. ZZZzzzz

Patience produces diamonds..

Hm... Tomorrow going back to the place which I like most.. It's kinda weird, I don't understand why I had fallen in love so deep with the place.. Penang. I guess my 'real' life started very very basic from there.. Everything started from that very place, from the the nursing course Im taking till..... relationship and not to forget friendship.. So many things I went through.. There were once when I felt like the heavy clouds were all over the place, and I begin to hate this place, well, of course only for a short while. Perhaps was too emo for that period that time..
It suppose to be something different tomorrow, I have plans.. but I guess luck once again not on my side.. whtever it is, no matter how tough the road's gonna be, I promise to cling on on certain things.. ( Fallen for someone.. )...:P

1st of July would be the new semester, and the last one for me, really wana pass the hospital and government exam asap and I can stay out from this scary hostel.. and of course, no more curfew! ha~ MNB is wayyyyyyyyyy too scary.. It'll be on the 23rd of Dec this year! I wana work hard for it and then celebrate Xmas 2 days after.. never get to celebrate.. not even once..:( the first half of year 2009 is not tht good huh? Hopefully the rest of it would be better.. To the above, a lil bit of luck and happiness for me pls.. :P During this last and final 6 months, I will strengthen all the skills needed for OSCE and also gain as much knowledge that I can for the final. . and also carry out the promise Ive made..( Mr A, I know you're reading this..) I hope the rest of my life would be an interesting one, as I know I'm not alone anymore.. I don't have to cry alone in the tiny cubicle of my room anymore, I don't have to keep everything to myself anymore cause I have shoulder to cry on.. hands to hold whn I'm weak.. I promise to take care of him and to love him more than myself.. :)

.........Actually the scariest part besides the final would be.. the posting. There are so many options.. I'm not sure by that time how would the hospital management side would be like.. well, if they allow to request, why not? where to go? ICU?5B?A&E?? hm... emergency department not bad but too bad they're lack of staff there so, I will always have to work double shift which means I don't even have time for myself..and for someone..haha. ICU?hm.. very very challenging..
I guess the best is to let them decide and throw me which departments they want. haha. General ward is the best to pick up skills actually before foucusing into specialized unit. .It would be a a bonus for me if Im posted to the nursery, but too bad young graduates are not encouraged to go.. sobz. Babies are way tooooooo adorable!

To be with you..- David Archuleta

Although it's not a new song, but it is for me. It's simply beautiful.. and meaningful. It describes how people are feeling when they are in long-distance relationship.. Hope to share this song with someone.. someone who have just stepped into my life recently.. I never thought I'll be able to hold on for uncertainty because of what i went through.. I hope I've made the right decision this time.. It's still too early for me to make any conclusion. I really want it to happen.. but I need this very special person to accept me as who I am, the ugliest side of me too. Then I will not worry to make any mistakes in front of him cause this is when the relationship has blossom.. I've sow the seed deep in my heart.. maybe all this while when I keep falling down, there are reasons behind it.. someone to catch me when I fall down again, perhaps?


To be with you..

I've been alone for so many nights now
And I've been waiting for the stars to fall
I keep holding out for what I don' know
Just to be with you..

So, here I am staring at the moon tonight
Wondering how you look in this light
Maybe you're somewhere thinking about me too..
To be with you.. There's nothing I wouldn't do..

And I can't imagine two worlds spinning apart
Come together eventually..
And when we finally meet, I'll now it's right
I'll be a the end of my endless road..
But this journey it was worth to fight..
To be with you..

Just to be holding you for the very first time,
Never letting go..
What I wouldn't give to feel that way..
Oh, to be with you..

And when you're standing here in front of me,
Thts when I know tht God does exist,
'Cause he will have answered every single prayer..
To be with you...
Just to be with you..

Steambot at Macalister Road.

Yea. You need to Q for satay too.. Thts Ying ming!

drooolssss....

HAha. Im staring at ur food and i wana grab it!!

Such a huge place for steambot..

Nice!! And it's worth it. 17 bucks for lotsa lotsa food! haha.

Thanks guys. We had lotsa fun! Well, everyone get so tired and stressed up with work. Eat all you can! Lolx..

Go away evil flu...

Flu plus fever just after my family return to Ipoh. The most interesting part is, I'm working. At least today the fever is gone, while flu is setting its pace. Anyway, I have to admit that clarinase doesn't get any better, am trying clarityne now. Feel like wana dozed off because of its sedative effect. As usual, the ward was super busy, and I am actually really really tired now. .

And I miss you so..

hm. Let's see wht I've got today. Class over at 4pm as usual today and I took a real short nap cause I'm too tired for the past few days. Exam fever.. But the scary nursing science has just over and I seriusly felt so much moreeee relieved after the paper. It's driving me crazy. Felt like my wrist is dangling cause it felt sooooo tired to write so many stuff. Everytime it'll be like that especially the terminal exam.Well, not just me of course, the rest of my colleagues felt their hand has already broken off actually .. Funny. Today is a rest day for us.So, rest is included today!! Tomorrow it'll be the CHN(community health nursing) paper. For me, it's an easy paper cause you just need to be expressive..lolx. For others, not. Tht is why I have time to blog.But i'll return to my notes asap..No worries.

Actually I don't feel happy today. I don't even know wht is wrong with me. Is it a PMS?I duno.. Maybe missing someone you like could really influence the rest of the day..

Forum le..

Heya, I have another memorable event to share with.A forum was held, actually before the research study presenation, by right I should have posted this forumt hingy before the previus posting.haha. Welll, they pass me the picture so late ma.. It was a forum thingy and marks will be given,so it's a no play-play thingy. Our group need to discuss on the topic 'murder' and we actually ..hm..kinda put in something not relevant into our slides. Hei we think it was relevant but you see, we are not the examiners, so, they perceived thing differently.haha. Below are some pictures to share.. Enjoy!




At times we can laugh over it..


At times we need to get serious.